Susan Bamberger

When I think of Gill, who I met as a fellow Mum at MMK with our kids in the same classes, I think of kindness & accomplishment.

Always reasoned & measured in her opinions, we had great discussions on various aspects of MMK & JFS life, Mill Hill Shul community, & with it, expectations, and of course books. In lockdown she’d encouraged me to read Apeirogon which I thoroughly enjoyed & I recall our long review afterwards considering bias, prejudice and bullying. However, as with all our exchanges - face to face or phone – the subject always finished on our children.

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Gill was always so complimentary about our 3 girls & would make a point of letting me know when she’d bumped into one of them. She was so proud of Zac & Mia with a quiet confidence of the faith she had for their futures. Gifted with numbers she seemed to recall my kids’ birthdays better than I did, and organised with precision the distribution of wine to new Shul members.

Never one to brag about hers, but the first to be positive about others.

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When I saw Zac & Mia I was reminded of Gill’s gorgeous freckles & natural beauty coupled with a strong presence of Andy too. Gill, to me (I appreciate we were very fond of each other as were our husbands, but we weren’t close friends), was always wearing a huge wide smile and never ever complained. She always seemed grateful for what she had.

Often saying you were a more introverted family than us, she partly credited my 50th birthday lunch as a catalyst that motivated her to celebrate at her own gorgeous lunch, which was such a memorable party. Both Gill & Andy’s speeches left me tearing and their love and admiration for each other was so evident.

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Gill’s kindness was often spoken about. In fact, a close friend of hers told me that it took her time to really befriend Gill, as she was just so perfect & could never say a horrid word about anyone. Her sincerity & compassion were remarkable, and you’ll know how extraordinarily well she cared for Andy.

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I have a message from her from last year where I randomly asked her favourite song & book – her response “So hard to think of an absolute favourite but up there is You’ll never walk alone by Gerry & the Pacemakers. And book… trying to think of books I still think about...there’s a wonderful Ann Tyler book called Digging for America. I was tempted to say Sophie’s Choice but avoiding sad things…”

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Probably our most remarked on topic though was our frizzy hair – she seemed to have tamed hers whilst mine remains a work in progress.

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It’s tragic to know that actually she wasn’t as bighearted as I’d have hoped; our thoughts go out to each of you as you move forward without her. A loss that must feel too cruel & painful but no doubt she’d be wanting you to find a positive angle on it. I hope in some way our message goes towards that.